There’s a running gag in The Muppet Movie where someone says something unfounded about frogs—like touching one gives you warts—and Kermit flails his arms and yells, “That’s a myth!” As he does, a girl pops up out of nowhere and, with a lisp on her cutesy face, says, “Yeth?” Stupid? Yes. Unforgettable and funny every time? Also yes.
That’s the fun part about myths. Some of them are absolutely ridiculous—but also completely memorable and a lot of fun.
Who was the weirdo who thought the Easter Bunny was a good idea, for instance? Think about the disconnect from reality it took to invent a rabbit of undetermined size who gathers up chicken eggs, cooks them, paints them bright colors, and delivers them to kids on Easter – to celebrate the resurrection of the Savior of the world.
It’s bonkers, right? Obviously, wouldn’t an Easter chicken make more sense? Or, hear me out, an Easter Fox? Think about it, foxes are clever, good at stealing eggs, and dressed in bright colors. People, we need to make the Easter Fox a thing. I wonder what the Easter Fox says…
Wait – I’ve lost the plot. What were we talking about? Oh yeah: myths. They’re fascinating and they help sculpt culture even as culture creates them. Myths don’t just explain the people who form them – they define and shape them in this Möbius strip of connection and causation, endlessly creating and influencing each other.
What made me start thinking about myths, you ask? I’ll tell you, and thanks for asking.
We don’t just carry the mythology of our culture, our country, our planet – we all carry our own little myths deep in our heart and soul. Most of them go unnoticed while quietly influencing us for years.
Maybe your personal myth is that you’re not smart enough or that you’re too smart and you’d better not let anyone know because then they’d expect too much from you. Do you maybe have a myth bred into your bones that tells you that making other people comfortable is more important than being your whole self – that hiding your light is better for the world and definitely better for you.
Mine are personal to me, as yours are to you, but in the interest of full disclosure that you never asked for, here are a few of mine, along with my rebuttal. Because some myths need to be busted.
- Your weight defines you and, being fat is shameful and makes you less human.
- My weight isn’t tangential, but it’s not central, either. It’s one of the things that affect how I show up in the world, but no accumulation of fat cells in odd places makes me less human, less lovable, or less capable than I would be as a size 2. Except for jumping rope. Sometimes you just have to let gravity win.
- You are not worthy of love or respect because you did (insert some stupid thing here that I did and now regret.)
- One act, dozens of acts, even hundreds of acts of stupidity and carelessness don’t define you if you want to grow and change. Leave the past in the past and let the future start now. Unless you are a serial killer, in which case, what are you doing here? Get thee to jail!
- You aren’t as smart as- pretty as- brilliant as- or funny as- someone you admire and want to emulate.
- Maybe, but they aren’t you, either. Smart is often situational and based on aptitude and effort in combination. Pretty is both objective and subjective – and it can be destroyed with bad choices and time. It’s a pretty dumb thing to base your self-worth on. Brilliant? We all shine in our own way and maybe your light is dim in the sun, but there is a shade somewhere just waiting for your particular brand of light. Funny. Okay, you may not be funny, but I am. I’m hilarious. Even if you can’t make other people laugh, you can make yourself laugh, and that’s even more important.
- You are alone because that’s all you deserve. If you were a better person, you’d have more friends, more love, more companionship.
- First of all, we all deserve connection (except you serial killers…. didn’t I chase you out earlier?) and friendship and love don’t require a certain level of worthiness. The right people will care about you just because of everything you think isn’t worth sharing. Trust them to find you, be open to them when they do find you, and return the favor when you see their open hearts and treat them with the same care you want. If all else fails, get a puppy.
I could go on and on, and often have, but I’m trying to say something here and not just pound you with my own particular list of broken bits.
We all live with myths, some grand and glorious, some petty and heartbreaking. You can choose to believe or not, it’s up to you.
Except the Easter Fox – that’s canon now. I wonder if he wears a top hat…
